Maybe Kids Are A Bad Idea

Kids are still an undecided topic in my life.

Will I or won't I? It really depends on the day. (and what age I am if I ever get married, but that's...you know).

But my friends have kids that I really love and enjoy spending time with...until the weekend of the double bad babysit.

Saturday I babysat Kari's two girls. Abbers being almost 3 (crap, or is it almost 4?) is at a wonderful age. 1. She's potty trained 2. She's pretty self sufficient 3. She just wants to color and play play-doh with me.

MK is almost 2 and is teething.

Sadly for Kari (luckily for me) her dinner plans were cancelled so she was there with me for the first long bit. When she went to her concert I was left to fend for myself for about an hour before R came home to take over. That was the longest and most painful hour of my life.  MK was fussy - as in screaming (not just crying) - the whole time. Literally the whole hour.  I didn't even realize that a kid could scream for that long. I tried food, I changed her diaper, carried her, sang to her, played with her. and nothing worked. NOTHING. In that moment I realized motherhood might not be for me. And the fact that it took only an hour to break me reinforced the idea that motherhood might not be for me.

Sunday comes and I get to spend the day with Em and Logan. Emma is 2 and made of sugar and spice. You really never know what you are going to get. Logan is a few months old and smiles more than any other baby I've known. Their fuss factor is typically really low, so I was hopping this would renew my faith in the whole having kids sitch.

Instead of being the usual ball of sunshine, Logan was also breaking teeth and cried about half of the of the 6 hours I watched him. His cries were not as piercing as MK's the day before, so it didn't make me feel like I was going crazy.

And then we have Em. It was all fun and games until the last 30 min when she woke up from her nap and said to me "I pooped myself." I then notice that she's already diaperless. I now realize that she wears the diaper not just as a precaution, but because she's lazy with the potty training during nap time. There was so much shit. I'm very impressed that I managed now to dry heave when I picked up the diaper with a trash bag as a glove. Or when I was trying to clean her then gave up and put her in the bath.

After the poop fiasco I'm traumatized for life. Brit and Kari say that I will feel different when I have my own kids, but at this point I'm even too scared to babysit.